Attitude of Gratitude Makes a Happy Life?

Another writer, Camilla Eyring Kimball, once said, “You do not find the happy life.  You make it.”  This made me reflect back on the last couple of weeks.  We did an extended holiday cruise with Mom and Dad, and I was rather amazed at the amount of people who seemed to think the world owed them something. 

I wonder if the man who was chewing out the Maître ‘d because he didn’t like the table he was seated at has ever tried to make a happy life, or if he has always expected things to be his way.  Here he was, sailing on a beautifully decorated cruise ship, getting ready to have his choice of nice meals and could even have more than one if he wanted, and he was complaining.  How many people didn’t spend the holidays with their loved ones?  How many people in the Eastern US woke up to frigid temps, while we were sailing in warm, sunny Caribbean weather?  How many people didn’t get their choice of meals, or weren’t afforded the opportunity for seconds or thirds because they had to make sure there was enough for everyone? 

What about the able-bodied family who refused to give up seats in the front of the tour bus for my parents, who were using their canes?  Have they made a happy life?  And what will happen when one of them is unable to walk unassisted?  Will they then think back and remember how entitled they were?

These people were all on this cruise, something that many people only ever dream about doing, and yet, they could not be happy in the moment.  I can’t help but wonder, “Why?”  Were they not exposed to people less fortunate than themselves?  Were they not taught that an attitude of gratitude can make a difference? 

I knew when I booked this cruise that I had to “make” my happy, that without Grubby here, Christmas just isn’t the same.  I am not ready for a traditional Christmas, but of course, Abby deserves better than someone who sits around being sad about what she doesn’t have all day.  She deserves a mom who shows her that even in our sad times, we can make happiness.  She deserves to have a mom who can show her that even though we may not have everything or everyone we want with us, we can be grateful for that which we do have.

This morning, when she was getting her breakfast, she snarked at me and said, “I don’t want cereal.”  I reminded her that there were plenty of people who would love a bowl of cereal for breakfast because it would mean that they are getting fed.  I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I want her to understand that she can only control her reactions to situations, not the situations themselves.  

Was I a perfect example for others?  Probably not, but I am doing the best that I can with what I have.  I loved spending time with Mom and Dad!  Yes, it could be exhausting trying to keep up with them and take care of them, but I know that there will come a day when I won’t be able to wonder where Mom has wandered off to now, or a time when I won’t have to escort Dad to dinner or a show.  I’ll take every moment I can get now because as we’ve learned the hard way, tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

Overall, we had a wonderful time – at least I did, and they said they did too.  We had some good laughs, mostly at Dad’s expense (trust me, he deserved it!), and I had a few tears at the Veterans Celebration when it hit me once again that Grubby wasn’t there.  When all was said and done, it may not have been a traditional holiday celebration, but more important than having a bunch of boxes of stuff to unwrap, we have a bunch of memories to unwrap when we need a pick-me-up!  We made some happiness, and that’s what matters most.