Sparks and Butterflies from Friendships and Fly-bys
Sparks and Butterflies from Friendships and Fly-bys

Sparks and Butterflies from Friendships and Fly-bys

I read a feature last week that really stuck with me about everyone should go through at least once in our lives. I realized as I finished the list that I had experienced every single thing on that list, except for one: I haven’t seen the Northern Lights… yet.

I also thought of several experiences that weren’t on the list, and yet, I think everyone should go through them at least once. I thought that writing about the ones I’ve come up with might make a nice series of blogs for your reading pleasure.

Have a fling, or even a meet-cute. Everyone should have at least one true fling in their lifetime. When I use the word “fling”, I mean the kind that is mutually beneficial to both parties. It can be long-lasting or short-lived, but it’s a situationship based on mutual admiration, attraction, and trust. It is based on honesty, and either person has the ability to leave the fling as long as they are honest about their desire for it to change.

A fling might be someone who you meet on a vacation. You may not even get past the first name, but you spend a few days with butterflies and being romanced and when it ends, you go your separate ways, knowing that you will never speak again. Although it sounds like a bad ending, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes life gets in the way, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t look back at that time with positivity and happy memories.

Or maybe it lasts a few months. You are hot and heavy for a few months, but one of you is ready for something more and you part ways. You may even keep in touch going forward, knowing that what you had was all that you’ll ever have with that person, but that it was also all you needed at the time. It still leaves you with fond memories and can conjure a smile when you need one.

Then, there are the longer-term flings, the ones that may last several years or more. Maybe you live in different parts of the world or the country, and anything more than an occasional meet up when it is convenient for both of you just isn’t possible, but you are friends above all else. That friendship was the thing that brought you together in the first place, and the attraction was what turned a friendship into a fling. When all is said and done, you remain friends even after the fling has ended because you have a genuine love for each other as people even if not as partners.

And the meet-cute? You know the meeting that turns into a missed opportunity because it only was ever a meeting? Perhaps it was the seatmate you met on a flight, the one who you felt a spark with, but when the flight was over the meeting was over. It could be the person you strike up a conversation with in line at the grocery store. When you walk away, you find yourself thinking about them on a rare occasion. You remember the spark, the butterflies, but that is all there ever will be… a memory of one moment frozen in time.

I’ve had a couple of flings, and I remain friends with the men involved. Each of them taught me different things about myself. I learned that I do value my independence, but I also value togetherness with someone I genuinely care about. I learned that I didn’t have to change who I was or how I lived for anyone else. I learned that, long after the flings had passed, we could still be around each other platonically. I learned that we don’t have to fall in love with everyone we meet. I’ve learned how to set boundaries.

And I’ve learned that I still get butterflies from a great meet-cute…

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