Wise Advice From a Wise Ass
Wise Advice From a Wise Ass

Wise Advice From a Wise Ass

Someone recently asked me what advice I would give to a young person just starting out in her life as a college graduate, and I thought I would share it here. I don’t know why I was asked because I am definitely not some wise oracle, more like a wise ass, but if I have learned anything in this life, it’s that no matter how well we try to insulate ourselves from things we don’t want in life, life always finds a way in.

1. Expect the unexpected.

2. Find your joy – what drives you to wake up every day and then do it!

3. Learn a foreign language – not from a textbook – but from experiencing life in another country for even just a few months. 

4. Travel! The world is magical, amazing, vast, and even horrible sometimes, but it is only through travel that we learn to be more accepting, open, and honest about ourselves.

5. Dance, sing, act like a kid at times.

6. Don’t be afraid to try new things.

7. Love someone so much that even if it doesn’t work out, even if they break your heart, part of your heart is theirs and theirs alone.

8. Always make time for your parents. The life events of friends will always be there, but your parents won’t.

9. Save one voicemail from everyone you love… someday, you’ll miss their voice and wish like Hell that you could hear it just one more time.

10. Pay attention to your surroundings, know who is nearby, and be aware of what is happening near you.

11. Put the phone down.

12. Watch a sunset for the magic of the sunset, not just to post pictures on Instagram.

13. Don’t let fear dictate how you live. Take chances. Start a new career or move to a new place at 50. 

14. And, please don’t give all of yourself to your job, a man (or woman), or children – always save something for yourself. When you keep something for yourself, you can survive when those other outside things are gone.

Life isn’t easy. It’s messy, chaotic, and crazy, but it is surprisingly beautiful too. I spent many years sheltering my heart from any sort of real romantic love because it had been so badly broken by who I thought was my one great love that I never wanted to feel that pain again. In the end, against anything in my control, I did allow myself to have another great love: the great love between Grubby and me. 

When he died, my heart was absolutely shattered. This time, I didn’t get to move away from the memories right afterwards. I live with his memory every time I look at Abby. I stayed in our house, the house that was supposed to be our dream home. I said, “Nope, never again.” Unlike the last time though, I am not ruling out anything. I know that doesn’t work because of this messy, chaotic, crazy, and somehow, beautiful thing called “Life”.  It always finds a way in…

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