The OG Karen… A Force to Be Reckoned With

I woke up Saturday morning in Dallas for the annual FirstHelp Family Honor Weekend, thinking about what this blog would be about, and I have to tell you, it came to me in an instant… Karen Solomon.

Some of you who are reading this may be wondering about who Karen Solomon is, while others already know, but for me, Karen is an ally, a friend, and a force to be reckoned with, the OG Karen as it is. To meet her, you wouldn’t really see this. She’s just a beautiful woman, probably around my age, with slightly-longer-than-shoulder-length dark brown hair and a pretty strong Boston accent. She calls shopping carts “carriages”, has a penchant for snacks, and apparently has a habit of forgetting clothes when she travels, which she does a lot. She hates hugs, but gives great ones!

So, back to the OG Karen… In 2014, Karen wrote “Hearts Beneath the Badge”, a book that humanizes cops, and gives readers glimpses into the minds of police officers. She followed it up with “The Price They Pay”, which looks at the physical, mental, and emotional tolls that cops suffer, and reminds readers that above all, our cops are human beings: They hurt like we do, they laugh at things we do, they like the same ice cream and music that we do. They have families like we do. In short, they are us. Karen talked to hundreds of law enforcement professionals to get the stories for her books, and in doing so, she learned that suicide among law enforcement officers claims more lives than all other line of duty deaths combined.

In 2016, this one-woman force began a 5019(c)3 organization called BlueHELP to begin tracking law enforcement suicides and to begin bridging the gap between the survivors and healing. See, when an officer dies in the line of duty, everyone shows up for the family. The agency, the local and state government, and even the federal government, just as blue line families have always been told they would. That’s not always the case with a suicide. In fact, most agencies are quick to disassociate with the surviving families, cutting off medical benefits, denying support, and the like. These survivors are often the forgotten survivors and victims, as they are ostracized for the way their hero died instead of honored for the way they lived. After hearing the stories, Karen made it her mission to bring law enforcement suicide into the conversation about officer and agency wellness and readiness.

She has been instrumental in so many lives because she is relentless, tireless, and she doesn’t give up. I have no doubt that as she has partnered with members of government to help author bills addressing the needs of the families who have lost their heroes to the scars of the battles they have fought during their careers. But, I also know that for as may partners she has gained along the way, she has had the door slammed in her face as many times by agencies and people who prefer to pretend suicide is not a problem among their profession. Karen has not allowed that to deter her from continuing to push for those officers to be recognized just like the others. This was never more evident than when I had the honor of attending the National Law Enforcement Memorial Service with Karen in 2022. When she learned that the two families who were chosen to represent the 100s of us out there would not have an Honor Guard to escort them to the wreaths while the placed their roses, Karen immediately turned to members – some of whom were very high-ranking members – of the Chicago PD, one of the largest and most widely known agencies in the country, and asked them if they would escort our families. They did so without hesitation, in spite of the blazing DC heat!

Karen had a vision… a vision of supporting families who lost their hero to suicide. She did not stop pursuing that support, courting big name sponsors, speaking on talk shows and with members of Congress, and cultivating relationships around the country that would help shed light on the problem of first responder suicide. She also had a vision of having those responders be honored for the way they lived instead of shunned for the way they died. In 2019, the first Family Honor Weekend was held in Dallas, TX. In 2021, Abby and I went to the second one after losing Grubby in February of that year.

Two days ago, we returned home from our 4^th Honor Weekend. This time, yet another of Karen’s visions came to life as the FirstHELP Memorial Monument, dedicated to all first responders and veterans lost to suicide, was unveiled in its permanent location at Heroes Park in Rockwall, TX. Abby and I had the honor and pride of hearing Grubby’s name read aloud as one of the inaugural names etched permanently into the granite panels that will surround the monument, and yes, he is on the monument as “R.W. ‘Grubby’ Grubbs”.

As we were rising Saturday morning, in anticipation of what lay ahead later that morning, I knew then that Karen had to be my subject. Well over 300 family members of first responders who have died by suicide were brought together just as we had been in prior years, from all four corners of the country: Mothers, fathers, siblings, spouses, children… all of us in our shared grief of losing our hero, and we were together all because of the tenacity, stubbornness, dedication, and maybe even a little craziness of one woman who had a vision.

I have people all over the country who I can call at any hour and know that someone will be there, even if just to sit quietly and listen. I have one who lives an hour away who I probably would never have crossed paths with in our old lives, but who means more to me than she will ever know. It is because Karen brought us all together.

Someone once said that you change the world one person at a time, and Karen, I hope that you saw as you looked out into the sea of gold shirts, that you have changed the world by changing so many of us. To me, you are a hero, whether or not you believe it or even feel it on some days, and I am filled with gratitude that I know you. Keep being a Karen and knocking down the doors of those who refuse to listen until they have no choice. You are saving us – one family at a time…