Christmas Eve Somewhere Between Nassau and I Miss You

It’s Christmas Eve on the high seas, somewhere between Nassau and I miss you, and the sadness has finally caught up to me. I knew it would eventually, but I was hoping that I could stave it off just a bit longer. Unfortunately, the immortal words of Karen Carpenter took me to my knees… “I’ve just one wish on this Christmas Eve. I wish I were with you.” Now, before you all panic, I promise not to jump off the ship. I will, however, sit quietly on my balcony, watching the sea passing by under the night sky, remembering…

I remember a man who loved Christmas so much that he usually went overboard, all the packages under the tree, the Tiffany boxes tucked snugly into the branches, the lights outside shining on the house, red and green lights on either side of the garage, dogs in costumes that they hated (but we loved them because they made us laugh), “A Christmas Story” for us, and “Love Actually” for me.

I remember Christmas with a man whose greatest gift wasn’t the jewelry or the toys, but it was his love for us. It’s easy to feel excited on Christmas when you have that kind of love in your life, and that kind of love, we had in spades. One of my very favorite Christmas gifts that he gave me over the years is my penguin rock… a simple stone in a little cardboard box that opens to reveal a penguin with its flippers extended to present the rock to me. That rock symbolizes everlasting love; you are mine and I am yours for all time. I just wish I’d known then that our time was to be shortened…

If I’d known then, I would have let you put up inflatable snowmen and Santa and Christmas trees, along with lighted deer, giant snow globes, a carousel if you’d wanted, even Cousin Eddie. I would have given you a stone every day. I’ve wondered if my daily “I love yous” were enough. I’ve wondered if you knew how deeply I loved you. I wonder if you see how much I miss you, not just at Christmas, but on every ordinary day too. I have to believe that you did know, lest I drive myself crazy thinking that I didn’t show it enough.

For now, I will keep remembering, keep celebrating, and keep cruising… somewhere between Nassau and I miss you…

Merry Christmas, Love. And, to my readers, Merry Christmas to you and yours. Hold them just a little longer, love them just a little deeper, and celebrate them every day.