I made waffles this morning. I’ve never made waffles before (except at the Hampton Inn – but does that really count?). Grubby was always the waffle maker. It was always his thing. He made perfect waffles! Saturdays were always my day to sleep in, and he would get up and tend to the dogs. About once a month, I would be awakened by the aroma of bacon frying and waffles cooking. He always made enough to feed a small army, but it sure was delicious. It’s been about a year since we’ve had waffles at home.
I started thinking about those waffles just before Christmas, and I even planned to make them one Saturday morning, but I guess I wasn’t ready. Today, I was ready. It was time to take that baby step into our new life.
It’s been eleven months since Grubby died, and Abby and I have slowly been settling into a new life… a life without her dad and my best friend. I’ve had to become a father and a mother, decision maker, financial planner, banker, cleaner, and cook. People tell me that I am strong, and some days I don’t believe it. Other days, I ask, “What choice do I have?” Ultimately, I know that I have been strong through this. I have tried to be the type of person that Abby could look up to, like she did with her dad. I have tried my best to teach her independence and self-confidence, strength, and grace. Even when I haven’t always felt these traits myself… like when I was making the waffles.
The first waffle came out okay, but it wasn’t a full waffle. The second came out perfectly, except that it was only a part of a waffle. The third was a hot mess. I tried to put white chocolate chips in her waffle, and they all got caught up in the pour spout of our upright waffle iron. Those waffles weren’t near as pretty as Grubby’s waffles, but they were made with as much love as he made his with. The best part, however, was the smile on Abby’s face. She didn’t care that they were a hot mess; she just enjoyed her breakfast at the table beside me and said they were yummy. I agree. They weren’t half bad. I might even try my hand at making waffles again.
For now, I will keep taking baby steps and keep healing… one waffle at a time.
So proud of you! Those are really hard baby steps to make because of the beautiful memories they bring back but you did it! Sending ❤️
As you know, the memories are bittersweet, but I am so glad that I lived the life to have them.
Sweet message! So happy for the two of you enjoying the tasty hot messes together! The smiles are the magic things in life! Keep on!
I think I’ve learned the secret to making chocolate chip waffles that won’t look so terrible next time… I’ll keep you posted.
I’ve always said that the magic ingredient in anything I cook is love.
You certainly sprinkle a lot of it in there!!!