A Dash of Hocus Pocus and Major Spiritual Energy

I tried something new last week, and it proved to be an interesting experience all the way around, but I found immense peace and even some happiness for a few days.  I had appointments with two psychic mediums last week.  I know, I know, you’re probably reading this and thinking that I’ve lost it, but before you come to any conclusions, let me tell you about my experiences. 

A lot of people are leery of psychics, and for good reason.  It’s no secret that this is a business that has often been the target of some serious civil litigation.  There are also those who say that it is a sin to seek one out, that communicating with spirits from the beyond is making a deal with the Devil himself.  But I still wanted answers, and I believed that there are people who can communicate with spirits, so I set about in search of a true psychic medium, not a hocus pocus snake-oil salesperson. 

My search went on for months.  I read article upon article about how to find a good psychic, one that isn’t a scammer.  I also read article upon article about those who had been the victims of these hocus pocus storytellers.  I learned what to say and not say during an appointment.  I learned what I could expect, and what the red flags were.  I asked for recommendations on grief groups online and got tons of responses.  I contacted a couple of metaphysical stores in Greensboro and asked if they knew of any in the local area and one of them did not, but with the second one, I hit paydirt! 

I ended up meeting with one of the ones recommended in the grief groups first.  It was an online meeting over Zoom, and I actually have a recording of it.  So, I am sure you are all wondering how this went… I was a little nervous, but I approached it with an open mind.  I had intended to remain off camera, to avoid her being able to infer anything by my appearance and my background, but she asked me to turn on the camera, so I did, and for the next 45 minutes, I sat and listened, occasionally answering when she asked if something made sense to me.  The meeting started with her telling me that she had a male trying to come through and asking me if I was okay with that.  I told her that I was, and the reading proceeded just as I described above.  There were a few things that could have been divine intervention, or they could have been lucky guesses.  I don’t know.  For instance, she said that there was significance to the number 64, and when I said there wasn’t, she began breaking it down for me, and saying that the number six was the more important of the two.  She asked me if there was any significance to the number six, maybe something in June or on the 6^th of a month.  Well, our wedding anniversary was in June so that’s pretty significant, but since I know that June is the most popular month for weddings, it began to feel more like a lucky guess.  Boudreaux was on my lap, and she caught a glimpse of him and began asking if the dog had acted weird since my husband died, like, if he ever just jumped up and started barking for no reason, or if he stared off into space sometimes.  She asked if I ever saw shadows running past me (I don’t), or if I see orbs (I don’t).  She said that she could see an orb floating around me and that hopefully, when I watched the recording, I would see it too.  For the record, I don’t see anything floating around me during the playback.  Honestly, this reading didn’t really hit me all that much.  Maybe my expectations going in were too high, or maybe I just didn’t feel connected with her, but whatever the reason, I was still not convinced.

That didn’t stop me from contacting the medium who had been recommended by the metaphysical store.  I reached out to her, and she was able to schedule me to come in and see her in person at her home for a reading.  She only asked for my first name when she scheduled me.  She did not want any other information.  She also told me that sometimes spirits wish to come through during a reading and she wanted to make sure that I was open to that, and of course, I told her that I was.  As I prepared to drive to the meeting, I made sure to take off my honor bracelets, my watch with its Salty Vibes band, and I wore a plain long-sleeved shirt that covered my tattoo and gave away nothing.  When I arrived at her home, I parked in a location so she couldn’t see my license plate.  All she knew about me when I entered her home was my first name, that I lived within an hour of her, and that I had a Georgia cell phone number. 

The minute I entered and we sat down, she asked me again if I was open to having spirits come through to communicate with me, and once again, I said that I was.  This reading was much different than my previous reading, from the minute I walked in to the moment I left.  She told me that before she even opened the door, she had a male spirit that was there with a very strong presence.  She described him as a “protector and defender” and said that he was fiercely protective of me, that he would not allow anyone to ever hurt me, almost like a father figure, but that he was definitely not my father or a brother.  She asked if I knew of anyone and what relationship he was to me.  Then, she let me know that he wanted me to know that he was at peace on the other side, and that he was always with me.  She told me that he was apologizing to me for leaving me, that he loved me deeply, and he asked if I could forgive him for leaving me.  He spoke of a pet name, but he didn’t really have one for me, so that was a bit odd, except for the fact that most people never actually called him by his given name.  I did not tell her that at the time.  She told me that although he is at peace on the other side, she could not shake the feeling that there was something off about his passing.  She mentioned to me that he wanted me to continue exploring my creative side, so I guess that he approves of the blog.  She described his dimples and even imitated his Cheshire grin.  She told me he had a beautiful smile, and that this was someone she would like to have known in life.  She described Grubby’s personality to a tee.  She was able to talk about details that no one knew, except for Abby: the pillow that I sleep with every night (and no, it wasn’t the little green pillow that she was referring to).  No one knows that I sleep with it every night, that if I have room, it travels with me.  There was much more, and he brought another spirit who wished to come through.  When she did, it was exactly who I thought it was with a message that I needed to hear.  We both cried a bit, and we both laughed a bit.

As I left to drive home, I was so happy and so at ease that I had to call Sherrie and tell her about it.  It was amazing.  I definitely knew that he was there.  There was too much that she would not have known otherwise.  As I recounted the details to Sherrie, I think she felt it too.  It was too personal to be a magic shell game.  When I got home, there was a sign right in front of me that had been there for several weeks, but this time, it was on my keyboard at the computer.  I don’t even remember receiving it before. 

I have always believed that the spirits of those we’ve lost live around and within us.  I believe that the energy around me is filled with those spirits.  Before you decide to have me carted off and committed, I am not crazy, nor am I seeking some sort of snake-oil cure to remove the pain of the biggest loss of my life, but anyone who has ever lost a loved one to suicide will tell you that there are a million questions that we ask ourselves all the time, a million second-guesses.  I try not to focus on them, but sometimes, they still arise, and having spent time hearing from Grubby, maybe some of those questions have now been answered.  And yes, Grubby, if you’re hearing these words as I type them, I forgive you.  I still grieve you because grief is just love with nowhere to go, but I forgive you.  Rest easy, my love, and don’t stop showing yourself to me…