The other day, I was doing my question a day journal and the question was, “Life is a …”. I immediately thought, “journey.” Life IS a journey. Each of us has our own journey, and it is up to us how we take that journey.
Sometimes, the road of life is smooth: paved and straight, like Route 66 through West Texas. These are the times when I can put the pedal down, feel the breeze in my hair, and enjoy the open road ahead, just for the sake of enjoying it. I can turn up the music, and experience a feeling of freedom – freedom from fear, uncertainty, responsibility, and the unknown. I can see clearly what’s in front of me, that vast nothingness except for the straight, paved open road. Even though that road is freeing, I can’t totally let go because I have to scan the distance ahead to prepare for wherever the journey takes me.
At other times, life is like driving the Amalfi Coast: full of twists, turns, and switchbacks. It can be exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. These roads are fun, but I never know what to expect around the next turn. I may come around a curve to see a beautiful vista, while others, I may be forced to come to a screeching halt in order to steer around some unforeseen obstacle. It seems like I pay more attention to the obstacles than the beautiful vistas. I don’t know if other people are the same way on their journeys, but I sometimes think it’s my anxiety that seems to put me on high alert around the obstacles and keeps me from truly breathing in the vistas and all the promises that they offer.
Still occasionally, life throws potholes and rutted roads out there just to keep me on my toes. I really have to focus on these rough patches in order to make it through them without a flat tire, bent rim, or worse, running off the road into a ditch. At least I know that I can call on friends and family if I end up in that ditch. They have always proven that all I need to do is reach for them, and they’ll extend a hand to pull me out. It’s these rough roads where I’ve learned the most, where I’ve grown the most. The rough road brought me into AA, where I learned how to live in sobriety instead of dying in the drink. In the months since losing Grubby, the rough road has felt like it’s broken me, and yet, I’m still here, still trucking along, still going. I’ve learned so much about myself, and what I’m capable of when I have to be. I’ve also learned to stop when I need to, when the road seems impassable. I wait until it is passable or I try a different route.
I’ve had quite a journey over the course of my life. My journey has taken me to different parts of the country, sometimes alone, and sometimes with others. It’s taken me to Southern California, New England, and the Southeastern US. I’ve had to adapt in each of these places in order to travel whatever road life’s journey puts in front of me. My journey has taken me to Italy and Crete, and a million other places in between. I’ve learned other languages, other cultures, and other foods. Even when the journey is hard, I look forward to the next phase because I know that eventually, I’ll get that wide open road or those beautiful vistas again, even if only for a moment in time.
No matter the road, the best part of it is traveling it with those I love, knowing that they are there with me. Even knowing that those who have left this world are there, watching over me, protecting me, and trying to soften the blows when the road is too rough to travel makes the journey worthwhile. I hope each of you has a magical journey, but when you are on a rough road, I hope you will reach out a hand… someone will always grab it.
Love this!
Very well said. My journey has been a lot those things. Thank You.