Oh, my goodness! I just realized that it has been over six weeks since I have written! I apologize for the lack of content, but I promise there is a good reason – I have been extremely busy! I promise that over the next week or so, you will be rewarded with several entries to make up for the six weeks without one!
So, yesterday would have been mine and Grubby’s six-year wedding anniversary. I managed to get some enjoyment out of it by having a float followed by lunch with John! I came home and looked at my memories of June 8th from Facebook.
Isn’t Facebook kind to point out the things we may have forgotten from past years? I think so, especially when those memories are the “Happy Anniversary” posts that Grubby made on my wall. As if I needed help remembering my own wedding anniversary. Sheesh!
Six years ago yesterday, somewhere between Grand Cayman and Cozumel, Grubby and I finally took our vows as husband and wife. It took us six years to get there, on top of the two we’d already been best friends, but we finally got there. We were so happy and full of hope and dreams. We were surrounded by some of our friends and family as we promised that we would love each other for the rest of our lives.
You were always my true north, ever-steady and never changing direction. You could spin me up like no one else, but you could also calm me like no one else. I’ve felt like a ship without a rudder for over 27 months now, drifting along aimlessly, while trying to keep living out my life and our dreams. I’ve had no navigational waypoint to reference, so I’ve just tried to follow my instincts. I think I’ve done okay. I’ve tried to take time to listen to what my gut says, and I’ve had to remind myself more than once that if I don’t know the right answer, I need to stop and wait, and it will come.
We promised to spend the rest of our lives with each other, and sometimes, I feel cheated. Our lives together had barely begun when you died. We were only a few months shy of our fourth wedding anniversary. I’ve also tried to remember that although I don’t get to have you for the rest of my life, I was there for the rest of yours…
People say that time heals, but I think that’s bullshit. I’m not sure we ever really heal, but time allows distance from the event to the memory. Time has given me a buffer, but it hasn’t healed me. I’ve just learned to live without my true north, but man, do I miss you…
I miss you. Every day, I miss you. I talk to you. Every day, I talk to you. And I love you… that day, today, and every tomorrow, I love you.
Happy Anniversary in the stars, my love…
When I watched the Video on Facebook of the Cruise that You and Wyne got Married, It brought back Memories Of a better time in my life.
Thanks for sharing.