It Is Okay to be Gentle With Yourself

It’s that time of year again when everyone starts getting ready for Christmas. For many, the holidays are a time of joy, a time of magic, and there’s just a little extra sparkle in their eyes. Yet, for many others, the holidays are a time to bear the load that they are carrying as they approach the season without someone they love.

We are approaching our third Christmas without Grubby. For the past two years, we have escaped for the holiday, setting sail and being on the sea. This year, we decided to spend the season with family, so we’re going to East TN. We decorated Mom & Dad’s house over Thanksgiving while Mom was in the hospital following a car accident. She told me to take my dad’s card and get decorations – something to bring joy. By the time we finished, their yard looked like one of Santa’s elves had just thrown up! We have done zero decorating here, and we aren’t likely to. I just can’t. I keep saying I am going to change out my porch décor to the Christmas décor, but I still haven’t done it. Grubby always went over the top with Christmas, and that would have extended to the yard if I had let him… I wish I had now. If only I had known…

My advice to anyone, especially those who are getting ready to have their first Christmas without their loved one, is to be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to be perfect, and no matter how hard you may try, your Christmas probably won’t be as perfect as it was with your loved one. Please remember that it is okay…

It is okay to stay in PJs all day if you need to.

It is okay to cry.

It is okay for your kids to see you cry (Honestly, it is better for them if they do!).

It is okay to overcook the turkey.

It is okay to not do the Christmas cards.

It is okay to cancel plans at the last minute because you just aren’t feeling it.

It is okay to not feel like celebrating at all.

It is okay to go somewhere else, somewhere you wouldn’t normally go.

It is okay to talk about your loved one.

It is okay to remember them.

It is okay to smile at all of the memories you shared with them.

It is okay to laugh.

It is okay to not be okay.

It is ALL okay.