I am so behind on my writing that I don’t even know where to start. There has been so much happening in my life that I have felt at times as if I were drowning under the weight of responsibilities: not just responsibilities to myself, but responsibilities to Abby and my mom. I know I put a lot of the pressure on myself; it isn’t that they are putting it on me, so honestly, I have no one to blame but myself.
I got Abby all moved in to her dorm a few weeks ago, and she seems to be happy at school, but she is so nonchalant when I ask her about things that I have no idea what she really thinks and feels about half the time. Someone asked me last week if the house was quiet without her here and it’s actually not any quieter than it was. She was a pretty quiet kid overall. Like most teenagers, she usually hung out in her room, only coming out to eat. When I was her age, I was rarely in my room, but I was rarely at home. Between my job and my social life, I stayed out a lot. She didn’t, but she was pretty quiet.
Now, I have to say that the house is definitely neater with her away at school. She is like Pigpen from Peanuts… everywhere she goes, there’s a trail of empty plates and food wrappers, empty Coke bottles, and empty glasses… and dirty socks! She wasn’t the best at picking up her stuff and making sure that it made it to the trash can or to the laundry basket! I usually could call her out of her room, and she would know immediately what she needed to do, but it could get frustrating.
Her car was no better, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s cleaned it out yet. I certainly hope so. I did ask her about her dorm room last night, and her response was, “Yeah… I need to see about that.” That tells me that it is no cleaner than her room at home was.
I surprised her a couple of weeks ago when the band had an open rehearsal for friends and family to come watch and then a preview concert outside the student center. I went down early and stayed a couple of nights before heading west to be with Mom during the worst of the firsts. As I was getting ready to leave and head west, she told me her car was missing, so like any good parent, I drove over to the campus garage where she had parked it and found it right where she had left it. What a goon!!! At least there isn’t a Subaru theft ring in Johnson City…
I miss her, but I am so proud of her and so excited to see where life takes her. I know that no matter where it takes her, I will always be home… just as Mom is for me…
