Spending Extra Time With My Parents Was Worth Getting Covid

Well, I’ve returned from taking care of Dad at the lake, and although I ended up with covid, I am glad I stayed an extra week. Mom came home from her retreat and brought the ‘vid with her. She felt so weak and tired, and I wanted to stay to help out, regardless of any personal risk.

I was so glad to be able to go and spend the time, helping Dad with his meds, taking him out on adventures – even if only to Walmart or Kroger – and even tucking him in at night, just as he used to do to me many years ago. We spent afternoons with me recording him as he told stories about his childhood and some of his more memorable times from his teaching career. We had to take breaks because he would need to lay down for a little while to relieve pressure on his back, and we tried to take a walk most days, but the heat really gets to him, so we had to be careful about that. So, when Mom came home sick, it was a no-brainer. I was going to stay because I had the time and the ability to do so.

Now, it was the three of us visiting and taking care of each other. Mom knows that I am deathly afraid of spiders – ALL spiders, but she asked me to clean out a closet in the garage. I warned her that at the sight of the first eight-legged freak, I was out, but that I would do as much as I could. Armed with the big Shop Vac, I went in, ducking to avoid the cobwebs in the doorway. I started to vacuum the leaves, dead mosquitos, and grime that had collected over the years, and as I did, I warned the Daddy Long Legs that were residing in the top of the closet that as the landlord, I needed to do some maintenance around their home, but that as long as they remained where they were and didn’t get too curious about what I was doing, I wouldn’t bother them. Well, apparently, they didn’t get the point, because one by one, they came easing down the walls to inspect. I was glad for the Shop-Vac, but I would imagine that they felt like they were being launched out of the tube for The Hulk roller coaster at Universal Studios as that warm air sucked them up with a thundering, “WHOOSH!” All eight of them took their turn on the big red coaster, only instead of being launched into the bright light of day, they plummeted through darkness until their hearts gave out. Sorry, not sorry. They were warned.

While I was home, I talked with Mom and Dad about their living situation because I worry about them being so isolated, especially Dad. This is a man who was surrounded by students for 50 years! When Steve and I were living at home, all of our friends were around constantly when school was out, so between that, and the fact that Dad was giving skiing lessons, he wasn’t ever really isolated from people. He is much more of an extrovert than Mom is, so as a fellow extrovert, seeing him not wanting to be alone, really got to me. I worry because they are so isolated, and the lake is really quiet during the week and during the Fall and Winter. They are 30 minutes from anywhere and everywhere, and that makes life a little less easy, I think.

It also made me realize that I’ve allowed myself to become more of a hermit than I should be since Grubby died. Instead of being out and around others, I can very easily stay home and be alone. That is not healthy for me at all. It feeds the anxiety and depression, instead of relieving it, and that has made me realize that I need to live within a community as I get older. Abby only has a couple of more years at home before she is going to spread her wings and fly, and then what am I going to do? I’ve started looking at communities for active adults, where there are trails, pools, meeting places, and parks for when that time comes. Don’t get me wrong… I do love my house and my pool, but I need to be in a place that is a bit less rural than where we are now. I need to find a place where there are community events and activities that force me to go out into the world, even if it is just out into a small slice of it.

Despite getting covid, I am really happy that I stayed longer. I realized a few years ago that, even though I see them in their 40s still, my parents are getting older, and I dread the day when I get the call that one of them has left this Earth. I know I am lucky to have them both still here, and I cherish the time we spend together. I just wish it was more.

If you are letting life get in the way of spending time with your family – the job, school, or other things that seem more important right now than your parents, siblings, or others that you care about because you can always do it tomorrow, I promise you that tomorrow doesn’t always come. Trust me when I tell you that, even if they know just which buttons to push to spin you up, there will come a day when you will wish they were there. Don’t put off sharing you with the people that you care about. Our time is finite. Each of us has an expiration date, some come sooner than others, and as the late Barbara Bush once said, “At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”

Love to all of you, and especially to Mom and Dad!